Guess who’s 50!!!!!!!!!!! Told you it would be a long time before we blogged again! I am now 50!! And I had the chance to spend this momentous birthday with most of the people who are most precious to me-my gorgeous daughters and their partners, my sister and brother-in-law, and some of my best friends. 50TH BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!! REALLY I DIDN’T REALISE. IS THAT WHY WE HAVE BEEN BOOZING IT UP EVERY NIGHT FOR THE WHOLE OF MAY? JEEEZZZZ. I WILL BE GLAD WHEN IT’S JUNE. MY LIVER IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL CHAISE LOUNGE……  OH WELL IN FOR A PENNY AND ALL THAT. PASS ME MY DRINK BUBS…………………. HIC!!!!!!!   We drove from Spain to France on the 10^th May; one of our shortest journeys yet. It’s still surprising how little fuss there is when crossing borders here. Still more surprising was how the landscape changed so quickly. CROSSING THE BORDER…….. HAPPY DAYS, THEY’VE ONLY A BURGER KING IN THE DUTY FREE SHOPPING MALL!! (ALSO VERY CHEAP SNOUT AND BOOZE.) MADE A NOTE OF THAT. I’M ONLY ALLOWED BURGER KING AS A SPECIAL TREAT…. LIKE WHEN SHE DRAGS ME KICKING AND SCREAMING, SOBBING LIKE A CHILD ROUND BLUEWATER!! DEAR READER, I WAS CUNNING ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH A PLAN SO ME AND THE BOYS COULD GO TO BURGER KING. (YOU KNOW YOU LOVED IT, FELLAS.) UNDER THE GUISE OF DOING A BOOZE RUN…… HAHAH- HAVE THAT SUCKERS!!!!!!!! (THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH TAPAS AND FRENCH FOOD A MAN CAN EAT.) Just over an hour after leaving the Costa Brava, we arrived in Reynes, a village just outside of Ceret. We’d booked a large 4 bedroom villa in the countryside, to accommodate all our loved ones. And it was huge! It wasn’t the most beautiful accommodation we have stayed in; it was rather shabby and very dusty; but there was loads of space for everyone to relax, including a gorgeous pool area. The views were pretty stunning too. BLINDING POOL, HAD ME SPEEDOS ON WITHIN AN HOUR AND WAS STRUTTING MY STUFF AROUND THE POOL TO “I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!!!!”     For the first few days, we found it a bit strange to be rattling around, but it was great to have the chance to finally unpack our cases and trolleys. We thought we could enjoy a few days of relaxing, but spent the whole time cleaning the villa and shopping for the hordes. Huge shock! The French don’t drink Brandy! WTF? Either very cheap grape spirit or really expensive cognac- no good when you dilute with ¾ coke. We had to travel back across the border several times to stock up with Spanish Brandy. How will we ever survive 4 months in FRANCE? SEE… I TOLD YOU I HAD A PLAN FOR THE FELLAS, TO HAVE A SNEAKY BURGER KING (CHEAP BOOZE RUN TO SPAIN.) ….. HOWEVER NO CHEAP BRANDY IN FRANCE WHAT THE F**K!!!!!!!! I CAN’T WORK THE FRENCHIES OUT. REALLY? YOU FLOG IT ALL ABROAD? SORT IT OUT!!!!!   13/5/17 At last my babies are here! I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried when my girls arrived. They smelled of home. I have missed them so much! And have never gone so long without a cuddle. I have already decided that, whatever pleasures Europe has to offer, I could never emigrate. I need the contact with them. It’s just so lovely to spend time with them;  I Iove to see their relationships, with each other and the lovely young men they have been lucky enough to find to share their lives. When my sister Maureen and brother-in-law Steve arrived the next day, my birthday gang was complete. I MISS MY GIRLS….. THAT IS ALL! (AND YOU FELLAS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)   To be honest, this was when I stopped writing in my daily journal for the first time since we left home, so the whole time has merged into a montage of fantastic moments:

• Hilarious evenings spent playing the loads of board games in the house.
• Jo and Luke squealing every time an insect flew by.
• Catching up on family gossip and sharing old memories, especially about people no longer with us.
• Girly talks. Josie brought enough beauty products to satisfy 10 women. I had gone almost feral and had only painted my nails and coloured my hair once each, let alone cleansed my pores!
• Watching them all play in the pool and sharing family jokes was a joy! The swing chair overlooking the pool was the Luke-out tower for the rest of the month.
• Everyone chipping in to prepare huge meals; and even better when I didn’t have to chip in and got thoroughly spoiled!
• Visiting Ceret and Collioure. It’s a beautiful part of the world.
• My birthday. Nobody could wish for a better birthday. I woke to find the terrace decorated with banners and balloons. My presents were beautiful and thoughtful. I was surrounded with love. Perfect!

    Time went so quickly. Far too soon, the girls were heading home. After a quieter week with Maureen and Steve, they too headed home, off to continue their own adventure of moving to Kent.           27-5-17 Steve took the Flatmans to the airport and collected 3 of my best friends, AKA the J cloths. I’m so happy that they decided to give up a week of their precious holidays with their families to spend time with us. We missed the two remaining members, who weren’t able to come, but we did drink their share of bubbles! We shopped, we lunched, we talked into the wee hours, we drank too much, we sang and danced. As always, we laughed and mocked each other; a cockney, a Manc, a South African and a posh bird; so different, but such good friends. If Steve had fantasies of being Hugh Hefner and having a playboy mansion, he was disappointed:  In reality, it was more like The Golden Girls/ Cocoon. ALL I CAN SAY IS “DING DONG HELLO, ME ALONE IN A VILLA, WITH A GROUP OF RIGHT FOXY CHICKS IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE…… WITH MY REPUTATION………… WHATEVER WERE THEY THINKING? ; -) NOW FOR THE REALITY CHECK!!!!!!! NOT ONCE WAS I ASKED TO APPLY SUN CREAM TO ANYONE … OR DID ANYONE OFFER TO APPLY SUN CREAM TO ME, TO SAY I’M DISAPPOINTED IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT, AND NOBODY WAS IMPRESSED WITH ME IN MY SPEEDOS- ESPECIALLY WHEN I DID THE SEXY AND I KNOW IT ROUTINE (I NEARLY PUT MY BACK OUT.)…….. AND I COULDN’T BUGGER OFF TO BURGER KING FOR A BURGER TO CONSOLE MYSELF, AS I HAD RUN OUT OF EXCUSES. SAD FACE ..SAD FACE… SULKY POUTY FACE!!! So now, the birthday celebrations are over. Saying Goodbye to my J-Cloths marked the end of our ‘holiday from the tour’. Everyone who came was there for their much needed holiday and wanted to spend time around the fabulous pool. The huge lounging lilos were a great investment. The sun arrived and we had endless hot summer days. I think people were surprised that we weren’t already brown. But, unlike when you are on holiday for a fortnight, we don’t have to concern ourselves with getting a tan. Our whole trip has been planned so that we move north as the summer progresses, so that we avoid the extreme heat- neither of us are sun-worshippers. Don’t get me wrong, nothing gives me greater pleasure than those first few experiences of the sun warming your skin after a bleak English winter, or the joy of eating and drinking outside in the evenings. But we don’t have to soak up every available ray of sunshine, at the expense of being uncomfortable- we don’t have to be ‘lobsters on a rock’ as Maureen would say. WELL I’M GETTING A BLINDING TAN, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TO APPLY MY HAWAIAN TROPIC TO MYSELF….. (THANKS LADIES XXXXXXXXX) And now, we have itchy feet. We’re ready to explore some more. So tomorrow, we’re off to Faget-Abbatial, in Gers (Mid-way across the Pyrenees). Back on the road again; just me and my old man. LOBSTERS ON A ROCK? WTF BUBBLES???????? ONLY YOU BABE. I REALLY ENJOYED THE WHOLE CERET CHAPTER OF OUR TRAVELS. HOWEVER MOST OF IT WAS VERY BOOZY, SO THAT’S FINE. I REALLY MISS YOU ALL, BIG TIME!!!!!! (I KNOW SOPPY OLD GIT!!)